feeding my insecurities

Body Image - when I think of an insecurity, that's the first one that always comes to mind. I didn't always have this insecurity and in no way was I oblivious to the fact that I am 'rather wholesome' as a friend of mine with no name calls it. I in no way also claim that this insecurity was single handedly fuelled by social media platforms such as Instagram, no it wasn't. Was it magazines? Was it celebrities with their miraculous weight loss bodies after child birth? No it wasn't. It was lack of joy. Stay with me.

You are waiting for a bus, you are waiting in line somewhere, sometimes you are even on the phone and this thought occurs to you "let me scroll through instagram". What has happened is that this is no longer a thought, the action of tapping on the instagram app has become, for a more dramatic approach, a way of life.You may also find that you tap on the icon more than once a day, why? Because you follow people in different time zones (punch line, no?).

I have been reading a few articles about how instagram needs to be 'taken with a pinch of salt' or how people are living a 'double life' or how it's so easy to become discontented with your own life because so and so is living an absolutely fabulous life. Yes, its true, when you scroll through some accounts you do feel the sense of 'why am I sitting here doing nothing whilst so and so is jumping off a cliff somewhere" with the necessary equipment I hope....or do I? No honestly, I hope they have the right equipment with them. I really do. You have probably read this somewhere or thought about it, that so and so probably spent about 15 minutes looking for the perfect picture to upload and not only that, they spent a further 15 looking for the perfect filter? You have also heard that so and so is probably not always that happy? You have probably also heard that so and so does not look like that all that time? No, really, I insist, they did not wake up like that.

Discontentment can easily lead to insecurities. Thoughts of self doubt creep in because even though you have the exact same filter on your phone and you use the exact same filter as so and so, your picture just doesn't say what theirs is saying, I'm happy and content.

Shall I banish your thoughts?  Yes so and so enjoyed that moment jumping from the cliff...with the right equipment. And maybe yes they uploaded that picture to show their followers how amazingly fantastic their life is. So what are you going to do about it? You are going to like the picture maybe comment, if you are a risk taker. The point of this exercise, of liking and commenting will leave you empowered? no it probably won't. The green monster eradicated? maybe. 

What I really want to say to myself whilst liking so and so's picture is their happiness should not undermine my own. I should never allow myself to get to a place where the joy of so and so no matter what filter they use or no filter, make me feel unhappy.I should never tie my happiness to the tip of my fingers, my wholesome body, my not so perfect skin, my hair (my natural hair journey is going well by the way, thanks for asking) .My joy should never come from reaching the same standard as someone else. My joy should remain constant in the realities of my not-jumping-off-a-cliff-kinda-life.

In relation to body image issues? If you're not happy, go for a run. Change your life style. I cringe at me having to type 'it won't be easy'. So I won't. Instead I'll go with a cliché  I'm quite happy with, fall in love with your body whilst working towards the body you want. Are you ugly? No, you're just alternative looking. Are you beautiful? Say it loud and say it proud! "Yes!". Lol. Accomplish something everyday, you have the same 24hrs that so and so has. Am I happy with my body? Yes I love it but I want to develop a healthy lifestyle, spiritually and physically.

If all else fails, close the app and say "It's not that deep" and proceed to delete it.....for a week or two.

"...the Joy of The Lord Is My Strength ." - Nehemiah 8:10
"For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost." - Romans 14:17
"And God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness..." - Genesis 1:26